The Customer Who Demanded a Feature That Would Cost £100,000 (And Why I Laughed and Said No)

Mid-thought: I had a customer who asked for a feature that would cost £100,000 to build. For one person. For one feature. For one use case. I laughed and said no. It was the easiest no of my career.

A British IPTV customer asked me to build a AI-powered recommendation engine that would read his mind. Not his viewing history. His mind. He wanted the service to know what he wanted to watch before he knew himself. For £15 per month.

£100,000. 3 years. For one person. Mind reading. He wanted mind reading for £15 per month.

Here's the thing — sometimes, you have to laugh. Not because you're mean. Because the request is absurd. Your British IPTV service cannot read minds. Your IPTV Reseller Panel cannot predict the future.

In most cases, resellers get angry at absurd requests. Don't. Laugh. Then say no. Quickly. Without emotion.

What actually works is a one-sentence response. No explanation. No justification. Just "No." Absurd requests deserve absurdly short responses.

One real-world scenario: a reseller in Bristol received a request for a teleportation feature. He laughed. He said no. The customer left a bad review. It was one of 200. Nobody cared.

The pattern that keeps showing up is that absurd requests deserve laughter. Your British IPTV business has limits. The laws of physics are limits. Laugh at requests that violate them.

I laughed. I said no. He was angry. He left. I didn't miss him. Mind reading for £15 per month. Absurd. Hilarious. Impossible. I said no. I laughed again.

A loose sentence: A customer who wants mind reading is not a customer. He's a fantasy. Laugh and say no.